Home of the Fandom Muses

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 00:53:28 GMT

Okay. Seriously.

Whoever is commenting on my entries with random html-laden trash that doesn't even work right, you need to stop. Yes, you. The one who is targeting my Final Fantasy fanfiction (yes, I noticed, I'm not stupid). Go spam someone else.

I've changed my commenting security, so hopefully you won't be able to keep it up any longer.

Once more, with feeling:

Go. The. Fuck. AWAY!

Birthday Post! (....you probably saw this coming)

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 18:29:31 GMT

This will probably be my last entry before GJ goes the way of the diskette drive...Let's see if this is what it takes to completely crash the backup DB. My LJ is in perfect working order, though, so you can find regular updates there.

*is 21* Yay!!

Yesterday I thought I'd not attend a quiz section, because it was my birthday and I was going to treat myself with not having a class which doesn't really help me understand the concepts too well. But then I told myself I was just being lazy and I was going to go, even if I have to be an internally whiny brat about it.

Umm....since the class is at 10:30am and by the time I post this it'll undoubtedly be after, you can plainly tell something went wrong with that plan.

So now I just have class at 12:30-1:20, and then a watch a movie/discuss a movie from 1:30-3:50. And also turn in my 4-5 page paper for that movie class....WHICH I FINISHED THE DAY BEFORE IT WAS DUE!!! O.O I'm not used to that feeling of accomplishment in college.....'tis sad. And it wasn't even a "3 minutes til midnight, printprintprint!" kinda thing. It was an, "Oh, it's 8:30 and I'm done....what do I do now with the rest of my night?" thing. *shrugs*

Don't know when my mother and sister will get up here, but sometime after 4:00 I'm going home. And I will (supposedly) have a Baskin Robbins ice cream cake ready to pick up by tomorrow. Yay! Me gusta el cake! Cake를 좋아!

Probably the only thing I'm not going to like about this weekend is needing to talk to my mother about Rome. I know she says she's okay with me going and that she wants me to go, but....well, it's the typical, "I'm glad you're going but don't go," that I fear.

Heartfelt wishes to the NIU students, and that all this violence occuring nationwide and in Seattle will stop.

Oracle: I'd ask you to sit down, but you're not going to anyway. And don't worry about the vase.
Neo: What vase?
[Neo turns around sharply, hitting a vase with his elbow, knocking it to the floor, where it crashes]
Oracle: That vase.
Neo: I'm sorry.
Oracle: I said don't worry about it. I'll get one of my kids to fix it.
Neo: How did you know?
Oracle: Ohhh, what's really going to bake your noodle later on is, would you still have broken it if I hadn't said anything? --The Matrix

Happy Holidays

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 01:32:43 GMT

AND I GET A FREAKIN' WHITE CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ZOMGHAKLDHFKASDHF;ASHDFLASJDFHASLD;FHASL;DFH;ASDFHL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edit 4:42 PM: So, the snow stopped for a little bit a while ago.....BUT THEN IT CAME BACK WITH A VENGEANCE!!!!!!!!!!! And so, like the little kid I am......I WENT OUT AND PLAYED IN THE SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I took pics with my new digital camera!!! It's not one of those professional digital cameras, but just a little thing that fits in the palm of my hand (which, if you don't know me, doesn't really help you in picturing it, does it....), so the images aren't very great.

My backyard when it initially began to snow...not a whole lot, right?

These are my footprints I made in my patio out back when the snow really started to come down.....

And this is the patio itself, from inside my home probably 10 minutes later. Notice how you can't see any footprints anymore?

A pic of me in my marvelous Santa Hat de DOOM.....

A little bunny I made by spinning on the tip of my toe to form the head, then scraping snow away from the head.

One picture of my neighborhood.....

Another picture of my neighborhood from another angle....

Tracks from a passing vehicle in my neighborhood. Another car had passed by not 5 minutes before then, and there were no tracks from that car by the time that one passed.

And....well, errrr....another pic of me, from a different angle. I actually took it in a different place than I did the other pic, but....you can't really tell, can you? *shrugs*

A BADWOLF sign magically appeared in front of my carport, but it's too dark to take a picture of it now.....Maybe tomorrow.......*shifty eyes*

HAVE A HAPPY CHRISTMAS/HANUKKAH/KWANZA/WHATEVER-IT-IS-YOU-CELEBRATE EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland--First Day

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 01:08:22 GMT

So, y'know all that "oh, pity me, pity me, my week's been overrun by homework," blah blah blah stuff I wrote earlier?

Yeah. It's all better now. CAUSE IT'S FREAKIN' SNOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know how else to emphasize the WONDERFULNESS that is the SNOW, except to make the words nice red and white and green colors, and I don't know how to do that, so I'll leave it as is. ADKHFALSKHDFLADHALDHFLASDK!!!

Yes, Jan-jan and Mom: I'll stop whining about how I never get snow. ^_________^

PICTURES!!!!!

Yes, you'll actually get to see me, the real person me. And that's Nikki, and Hansee and our friend Ally. ^__^ We like snow. Edit: I put the pics in a separate f-locked post for the sake of privacy and so I could open this one to the public. If you're really that interested in seeing the pics, then *gasp* you'll have to friend me! (or else friend my friend Nikki [aren't I getting into the whole lj-lingo...using "friend" as a verb...])

I'd gotten up at about noon and there'd been no sign of snow, and then I looked back up again and THERE WAS SNOW!!!!!! I booked it outta my room and called up Nikki, and we had lots of fun in little courtyard in front of my room. We went to the Quad where we (meaning her with her camera and me with my phone) took lots of pictures while our hair turned icicle-y, went to McMahon to have food, and went back to Hansee (where it was even more obvious that Hansee IS Hogwarts).

I took an insanely long shower, and used my satsuma shower gel. The shower stall now smells like satsuma. Hehehehehehe.

In other (slightly sadder) news, Evel Knievel died Friday. Madeleine L'Engle, Robert Jordan, Evel Knievel.....who next? *sigh*

But then.....24 DAYS TIL DOCTOR WHO CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!!!!! *dances* Nikki and I are gonna watch more DW later. And last night we were watching the episode School Reunion, and the Headmaster of a school came on and spoke and I kinda said aloud to Nikki and myself, "Man, that sounds and looks so much like Giles...." And then we got a close-up of the Headmaster, and I thought, "Okay, no, too much likeness...he's gotta be..." And Nikki remembered that, yes, Anthony Head IS the Headmaster, and my head exploded with fangirly-glee. 'Cause now that's a nice crossover-cameo exchange between the BtVS/DW-Verse. The Doctor and Rose were in the Buffy comics ("No Future For You, Pt. 1") and now Giles-in-Ripperish-form in Doctor Who!!! *flails*

I called my home today to let my family know that it was snowing, and the machine picked up first, so I screamed into the phone, "IT'SSNOWINGIT'SSNOWINGIT'SSNOWINGIT'SSNOWINGIT'SSNOWINGSSSSSSQQQQQQQQQUUUUUEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" Yes, that is literally what I did and said, right down to the lack of spacing and the SQUEE!. I am not lying. My sister could easily confirm it.

It's still snowing. IT'S STILL FREAKING SNOWING!!!!

[After arriving at Hansee after dinner, in the fork between McKee and Blaine]
Me: "So, Doctor Who'ing tonight?"
Nikki: "Oh, yeah, absolutely."
Leah (another nearby girl on our floor): "Doctor Who'ing?"
Nikki and I in (unplanned) conjunction: "Oh, yeah, it's totally a verb now."
Nikki: JINX!! --

(Which, by the way.....TARDIS is now officially in the Oxford Dictionary AS WELL AS Dalek! .....No, my fangirling is never done, and you can't make me!!!)

Wishlist 2007

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 03:22:59 GMT

Sonya's Wishlist 2007:

1. If you're my friend, stay my friend. If you aren't and are letting me think you are my friend [for whatever reason you may have], let me know so I can move on with my life and stop worrying about if I'm being a bad friend to you. (what a way to start my list on a downer of a note, huh?)
2. Anything fandom-related (see my profile). Fics, icons, etc. If it's a fic, I'm open to most things except character-bashing and Mary-Sues.
3. Barnes & Noble giftcards (or, really, giftcards to any bookstore, or giftcards to any store in general).
4. To go on the Rome Creative Writing program.
5. Go to either freerice.com to donate rice or The Breast Cancer Site and the other tabs at the top of the page to donate other free stuff. None of the options cost money, and you could help someone!
6. Make something creative and send it to me, whether an online card you made yourself (Publisher document, Paint image, Adobe Photoshop, etc.) or some artsy-craftsy thing you made out of recycled newspaper. I'm a sentimental fool; I'll treasure anything.
7. Scifi/Action/Fantasy movies/television DVDs.
8. BOOKS! I always like ~~giving the illusion~~ showing I'm well-read.
9. Decorative items (posters, things to hang from the wall, etc.)
10. Any (one!!) thing from my wishlist. (~~It's pretty austere right now, but that's only because I made it about...15 minutes ago~~) The wishlist is now posted here, since people apparently can't view it on B&N's website unless they've signed up for the online account (why not open it to the public??? Seems odd...). I don't have them linked to, say, prices and such; maybe I will, maybe I won't. It depends on whether or not I want to dissuade people from using money to buy me gifts:

Books:
Beowulf (Barnes & Noble Classics Series) by Anonymous, John McNamara (Translator), John McNamara (Introduction)
Lirael: Daughter of the Clayr and Abhorsen by Garth Nix (I have the first book; I prefer the black covers, but just take that to be my OCD-nature coming out)
~~My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult~~
The Almost Noon by Alice Sebold
~~Lord of the Flies by William Golding~~
Farenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
Candide by Voltaire
The Crucible by Arthur Miller
Night by Elie Wiesel
Artemis Fowl series (have the 1st book!) by Eoin Colfer

Movies:
The 39 Steps directed by: Alfred Hitchcock
The Lady Vanishes directed by: Alfred Hitchcock (I'm not that huge of a fan of Hitchcock, really I'm not, but I do like some of his movies.)
Beowulf (the movie with Christopher Lambert in it; yeah, I'm a horrible movie-person who has no respect for quality movies, sue me)
Mulan
Rush Hour 1&2
Dodgeball
Mask of Zorro
Three Musketeers
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
The Prestige
The Fountain (or any other movie with Hugh Jackman [aside from Swordfish and Van Helsing; have those])
X-Men (trilogy)
Pirates of the Caribbean (trilogy)
Hocus Pocus (yeah, the old Disney movie..such a Halloween classic)
10 Things I Hate About You
~~I, Robot~~
Behind Enemy Lines
Save the Last Dance
The Mummy
Erin Brockovich
Pay It Forward
The Matrix (trilogy)
Remember the Titans
Radio

TV DVDs:
Doctor Who (2005 season 1+)
The Sentinel (season 2+)
Stargate SG-1 (season 4-7, or if you insist on getting me the complete series in the nice shiny boxed set...)
Buffy
Angel
House

More to come, probably.

First Steps, Chapter 5

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 23:42:46 GMT

TGIF!

The Haunted House is tomorrow, and we've yet to finish decorating all of it. So...more tonight, even though we'd been hoping to have today off. Oh well.

Another post to First Steps. I've decided I want to finish posting this fic before posting other works, so, after this, expect a sudden spurt of Final Fantasy fics. I might add the sequel to Happy Birthday, Get Well Soon, though, so that might crop up in the middle of the Aurikku/one FF7 fic avalanche.

Title: First Steps
Author: me (ffjunkie42 or, on ff.net, sagdragon3002)
Genre: MK, general.
Rating: PG (K+ if you go by ff.net's thing)

Chapter 5: All the Cowboys Have Come Here: Stryker
Disclaimer: Mortal Kombat doesn't belong to me. I'm sure all MK fans out there are supremely relieved by that.

LiuSubzeroSonyaJaxNightwolfStrykerKitana

Raiden teleported into a town, taking some time to orient himself. He had teleported somewhere in the center of the U.S., Arkansas if he wasn't mistaken. Farmland stretched in every direction, oak trees dotting the landscape. There was a bawl of a dog and the answering call of a neighboring hound.

Well, this is as unlikely a place to find a Chosen One as I can get, Raiden thought to himself bemusedly. But there had been a signature here, and where there was a signature the Thunder God diligently went.

Transforming his appearance to that of a beggar, as per his preference, Raiden set off in the direction of the Chosen's aura. The aura grew stronger, though the landscape remained largely unchanged. A brook babbled nearby, an indirect off-shoot of the Arkansas River, and an enormous tree leaned over the water, creating immense shadows from the setting sun.

Smiling down genially at the water, Raiden took a moment to enjoy the peace of a rural setting. Too much of the world was becoming urbanized, leaving Raiden highly entertained by the technology but sorely missing the simplicity of Zhu Zin and its time.

His inattention proved to be rather detrimental as a fair-sized rock struck the back of his head. Hand instinctively grasping the aching part of his skull, Raiden turned to find the source of his pain.

A row of boys (Where had they come from? Raiden momentarily wondered) sat on one of the tree branches, laughing heartily at his woe. Many of them were armed with rocks nearly the size of the one that had hit him.

Grumbling inarticulately about the lack of respect in the world from children, Raiden nearly fried the tree they sat upon when someone shouted, “Hey!”

Raiden turned his attention to the shouter, his senses overwhelmed by the proximity of a Chosen One. His eyes focused on a prepubescent boy, his shock of red hair cut short but left untamed. Hazel eyes glared at the boys on the branch, and though he hadn't grown much the boy's frame was well-muscled, undoubtedly from farm-work. He dressed in well-worn pants and a ratty shirt that was more used than old. He held a hoe, blade sharp and gleaming.

“Leave the old man alone, you pigeon-heads!” the boy said, jabbing the hoe at them single-handedly. “You won't be pickin' on anybody on the Stryker farm, not while I'm around! Now git! An' I'm tellin' all your Pa's about this, sure as my name's Kurtis Stryker!”

All the boys wailed dismally and rushed off, dropping their stones. Raiden watched their departure speculatively, then turned to the boy. “Thank you,” he said, crossing the brook to stand by the boy. Flattery and humbleness would be expected from a poor beggar, though Raiden was miffed he hadn't gotten the chance to scare the mortal brats. “Such a band of bullies, I'm not sure how I would have managed.”

“Ah, shucks, mister,” Kurtis beamed up at him. “They ain't much at all. Once you git all glower-y an' after their hides, they turn yellower'n chickens. You just need to know how to handle 'em proper. Now stallions, they're meaner'n a snake with no water, mark my words.”

Well well. A Chosen One that doesn't mouth off to every adult he sees. My luck's changing, it seems. “Do you stand up for everyone that's in trouble?” Raiden asked, using some of his immortal power to keep the conversation honest.

“Sometimes,” the boy answered, leaning the butt of his tool on the ground but seemingly unaware of the magical atmosphere surrounding him. “I don't like bullies. But, I can't fight all the time. Gotta set an example for my sisters an' all. An' Pa needs me on the farm. I can't pitch hay or plow fields if I'm all bruised-up.”

And I suspect he's been 'bruised-up' many times. Maybe an unlikely area for a Chosen One, but the place certainly breeds the same kind of heart as anywhere else. A shame his prowess in magic isn't as advanced as the others. He laid a hand on the boy's shoulder, smiling down benignly as he used some of his immortality to magically mark the boy as a confirmed Chosen. “Sooner or later, I'm sure you'll be able to deter them from fighting without having to use fists. And I'm sure you'll do your father proud with your honorable soul.”

Turning a furious red, Kurtis scuffed the ground with his boot. “Sheez, mister, I ain't that special. Just dumber'n the other kids. Smart kids run away an' tell the adults.”

“Ah, but you are honorable. Smart, too. Wait until you're older, and you'll see what I mean.” Raiden turned and walked behind the oak to hide his teleport.

Kurtis spotted a belt on the ground where the old man had stood, picking it up and shouting after him, “Hey, wait, you forgot your belt!” He ran around the tree, nearly completing a circuit before realizing the man had disappeared. Eyes wide, he scanned the horizon, trying to catch a glimpse of the man's slightly hunched figure. Finding no sign that he had even been here, Kurtis scrutinized the belt. The leather was black, well-made, and engraved with the body length of a Chinese dragon. The gold buckle shone even in the poor light, and the head of the Chinese dragon glared out, daring anyone to make less of its nobility.

Taking one last glance around, Kurtis shrugged and wrapped the belt around his waist. It hung lopsided even at the tightest, but peering at his reflection in the brook, he thought it made him look like one of the old cowboys from the westerns his Pa always loved watching. Smiling satisfactorily, Kurtis headed home to help his Ma and Pa take care of the Stryker plot.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: I decided Raiden could do with a break from mouthy Chosen children. Rest assured, Picking-on-Raiden-athon continues in the next few chapters.

"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth, and the earth was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the spirit of God was moving over the face of the waters."

It's an oral history. It was passed down, word-of-mouth, father to son, from Adam to Seth, from Seth to Enos, from Enos to Cainan, for 40 generations, a growing, changing, story, it was handed down, word-of-mouth, father to son. Until Moses finally gets it down on lambskin. But lambskins wear out, and need to be recopied. Copies of copies of copies of copies of copies of copies of copies of an oral history passed down through 40 generations.
From Hebrew it's translated into Arabic, from Arabic to Latin, from Latin to Greek, from Greek to Russian, from Russian to German, from German to an old form of English that you could not read. Through 400 years of evolution of the English language to the book we have today, which is: a translation of a translation of a translation of a translation of a translation of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of an oral history passed down through 40 generations.

You can't put a grocery list through that many translations, copies, and re-telling, and not expect to have some big changes in the dinner menu when the kids make it back from Kroger's.

And yet people are killing each other over this written word. Here's a tip: If you're killing someone in the name of God — you're missing the message. --Nick Annis in the preface to God is Good. (No, haven't read the book, am not particularly religious, but the last sentence caught my eye on Wikiquotes).

Noticed any changes?

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 02:51:54 GMT

......You did? Good, your eyes/powers of observation are working then. Or else you never saw my journal while it was all mossy and centered. If you did see it when it was mossy and centered and still didn't see any changes until you read that sentence, you should probably go to the doctor and be concerned. Not necessarily in that order.

Washington's treating me well. In spite of the high winds that would probably make all the Chicagoans scoff at us weakling Washingtonians. I just hope Mother Nature doesn't try a repeat performance of last year/Jan-March. One demonstration every ten years is plenty enough, thank you.

Alright, alright. Fanfiction time! Hmmmm, which shall I choose? Final Fantasy looks neglected (*gasp* *feels ashamed for abandoning her second-most beloved fandom*)

Title: Stuck in a Room You Can't Get Out Of
Author: Me. As in, ffjunkie42, sagdragon3002, aurikkulockwind.
Rating: T/PG-13 for language and reference to previous adult activities.
Fandom: Final Fantasy X; vaguest hint of Aurikku.

Typical Disclaimer-ness: I don’t own FFX, anything familiar ain’t mine, yadda yadda.
Setting: A future-verse fic, set after the end of FFX but also an AU, considering certain people’s.... liveliness.
Summary: Stuck in a room together, Rikku busies herself with irritating Auron while the guardian wonders what he’s done to deserve this. WARNING: Contains hints of Aurikku. You’ve been warned, so any reviews I get should be constructive criticism or just someone doing their good deed of the day.

Rikku scowled over the desert of Bikanel Island as the party waded through the sands. Her day was plummeting down the proverbial toilet, and it was not looking up anytime soon. Earlier that morning she had woken up to discover her ‘monthly badge of female fiendishness’ (as her father Cid had so eloquently called it during The Dreaded Talk) had started.

Now she was traipsing with four male companions, two of which talked about nothing except Blitzball while the other two were stern-faced mimes. Cid had said that her mother had been...passionate, during her monthlies. Rikku was the exact opposite, despising her male companions’s presences more than any other time.

Her only relief was that she had two other women to soothe her during the cycle. Although, if the rumor was true and women traveling in groups also began their menstrual cycles around the same time frame, she might be safer keeping to herself. No one wanted to be on the receiving end of Lulu’s Black Magic. And while Yuna was a very calm and very polite girl, she also had a mighty Holy spell to work her fury. Rikku doubted even Auron would risk Yuna’s wrath (never mind his promise to Lord Braska).

Rikku wanted to be Home. She wanted to curl up on her real bed, sipping iced tea and reading a good book about the latest machina inventions the Al Bhed discovered. But Home was still a lot of miles of sand away. So she traveled through the sand, striving for minimal particle intrusion in her shoes.

“Man, this sucks, ya?” Wakka’s distinctive voice rose over Yuna’s soft conversation with Lulu. “Why couldn’t your father get us a ride on his airship, Rikku?”

Lifting her eyes, Rikku scowled at the blitzer, causing him to falter. “One of the main engines was giving Brother trouble. Unless you wanted to crash in the middle of the freaking ocean, leave it alone!”

Wakka and Tidus both stumbled, falling into the sand at her raised voice. Lulu and Yuna sustained their conversation. Auron and Kimahri continued walking, their gait steady. Rikku stepped over the two fallen men, arms crossed and glaring down at the sand.

“Geez, what’s her problem?” she heard Tidus mutter.

Before Rikku could whip around and yell, Lulu halted her conversation and trained her crimson eyes on Tidus. “Leave Rikku alone, or risk a hit by my Ultima. It’s your choice.”

Even Auron and Kimahri paused at Lulu’s declaration. The Ronso stared between Tidus and Lulu. Auron simply blinked his one eye, sighed softly, and resumed trekking across the sand. Rikku, being closest to the legendary guardian, heard him mutter, “Jecht can screw himself, I’m not getting my ass fried for someone that clueless.”

Rikku decided that Bikanel’s sun was doing something to her hearing. She never heard Auron speak that many syllables, or say ‘ass’ not in reference to the actual donkey.

Tidus squealed his apologies and rushed ahead of Auron, distancing himself from Lulu, Rikku and, in effect, Yuna. The party walked toward Rikku’s Home in silence once more.

They stopped at an oasis for rest, Wakka and Tidus staying to one side of the water in deference to the women. Rikku sat at the water’s edge, feeling crabby and nauseous. She hated this time of the month…

“How are you feeling?” Yuna’s soft voice penetrated Rikku’s cloud, the summoner smiling gently down at the younger woman.
“Like I wouldn’t mind borrowing Ixion to pummel some guys,” Rikku muttered.

Yuna put a finger to her lips, whether to stifle laughter or in thought, the Al Bhed did not know. She lifted Nirvana and said “Cure.”

The ache in Rikku’s belly faded, the nausea disappeared, and her gloomy outlook beat a hasty retreat. Rikku returned Yuna’s smile with a soft thank you.

“Every time it comes, I’m grateful for my White Magic,” Yuna confided to Rikku as she took a seat. “I would confuse the priests at Besaid so much: one minute I’d be grouchy and glaring, and the next I’d be the brightest ray of sunshine east of Bikanel.”

Rikku chuckled. Yuna being grouchy seemed impossible, yet funny. “Glad I’m not the only one who gets touchy.”

“You haven’t seen touchy til you’ve seen Lulu,” Yuna chortled. “I used to hide in my room whenever she started.”

“I appreciate the humor at my expense,” the black mage startled them from behind, crimson eyes revealing her amusement.

“I’m sorry,” Yuna bowed briefly. “But it is true. You practically lit Besaid on fire when Wakka tasted your cake.”

Lulu frowned. “That’s because it was my cake. My chocolate mousse cake.”

Rikku shook her head. Honestly, boys should know better than to touch a woman’s desserts, especially chocolate desserts. “Tidus is going to be so hopeless when you’re married,” she told Yuna.

The summoner blushed. “Who said anything about marrying Tidus?”

“Yuna,” Lulu tsked, “Wakka knows about you two, and he’s as dense as they come.”

Again, Yuna blushed, but she said nothing further.

Rikku began to fidget. She wanted to be Home, now. Usually she hated Auron’s enforced speed of travel, but now she longed for the brisk pace. Had they not paused long enough for the guardian’s tastes?

Sand crunching behind them made the women turn, exposing Tidus and Wakka’s approach. “Er, Rikku, I’m not sure what I did to make you mad,” Tidus started, shifting from foot to foot and scratching the back of his head, “but whatever it is, I’m really sorry.”

“Me too,” Wakka added quickly, nodding so much Rikku was surprised his head remained attached. “I’m really, really, really sorry.”

Beginning to feel bad, Rikku decided to put them out of their misery. That was when Wakka’s mouth began flapping.

“If we’d known you were gonna be all sensitive about it, we wouldn’t have bothered you, ya? But you’re usually so...cheery, and I don’t know why you overreacted so much—”

Rikku’s sunny mood darkened once more. “Sorry to rain on your parade, then, Wakka!” she yelled, rising and poking him hard in the chest. His eyes flew wide as she raved, “I’ll try harder to be the retarded, happy person that never shuts up the next time I’m having a bad day, but for right now I’m going to be as moody as I want, so deal with it oui runnepma zang!”

She stormed off, contemplating throwing a grenade behind her to emphasize her point. Two things stopped her: Yuna and Lulu were still back there, and Auron was in her path.

“I don’t want to hear it!” she screamed as he started to address her. His eye widened in alarm. “I don’t care if I’m stirring up bad morale for the party, I don’t care if Sin is back, I don’t care if Seymour is dancing around Zanarkand in a tutu singing ‘I hate Al Bheds’! I just want to be Home, and I’m not going to be pushed around by you, Sir Glares-and-Orders-People-Around-A-Lot, anymore!”

Rikku glared at Auron as she fumed, fists clenched. No one spoke; not even Kimahri’s or Lulu’s bangles clicked.

Auron stared down at the much smaller person in front of him, eye blinking a few times as if he couldn’t believe she had yelled at him. At him, the legendary guardian. Then he said, voice still even and solemn, “I was about to say that we should gear up and start moving. It will only take another thirty minutes to get to Home.”

Rikku blinked. “Oh.”

With a slight bow, Auron turned and led the way out of the oasis.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Home welcomed them with cheers and plenty of confetti. Hugs were distributed all around, though most went to Yuna and Rikku. Wakka was still seen as the Yevonite, and Tidus hid behind the blitzer, thus keeping him out of the heartier reunion. Lulu, Auron, and Kimahri watched the celebration from a doorway, giving their unique glares to anyone who dared to near.

An hour later found Rikku curled up on her real bed, sipping iced tea and reading a good book about the latest machina inventions the Al Bhed discovered. Yet her bed was uncomfortable, her tea was overly bitter, and the discoveries were dull and insignificant.

I shouldn’t have yelled, Rikku thought to herself gloomily. Auron never toed over the line, he never bothered me. In fact, he never had anything to do with me.

Rikku made a face. She would have to go apologize. To Auron. To the man who could effectively shut anyone up with a well-placed, one-eyed glare.

She hated that Cid had raised her right. Perhaps in odd ways, but right.

With a mutter Rikku stalked out of her room, heading toward Auron’s rooms in the most linear way possible. Those who knew her well cleared her path; those who did not know Cid’s daughter quickly learned the darker side of Rikku’s temperament.

Here was Auron’s door, shut firmly against any intruders. She sighed, she paced, she almost walked away, but in the end she knocked ever so quietly.

Silence. Maybe he wasn’t in?

Feeling faintly relieved and a bit guilty, Rikku turned to leave.

“Come in.”

Swearing in Al Bhed, Rikku opened the door and peeked inside.

The room’s lights were off, and for a moment Rikku imagined that perhaps Auron’s scarred eye was really an infrared optic. Then she realized the guardian had been sleeping.

“If this is a bad time, I can come back later,” Rikku whispered.

Auron clapped, and the lights turned on slowly. Apparently he had learned how to use the machina in the room. “Now is fine.” He eyed her, brow slightly lifted. “Are you going to yell at me some more?”

Rikku’s cheeks heated. “No, it’s not like that. I want to apologize for...earlier.”

The brow raised another quarter of an inch. “An apology?”

“Yeah. So, um...I’m sorry for yelling at you when you didn’t do anything wrong,” Rikku smiled weakly.

Slowly, the brow lowered, and Auron shrugged. “It was my fault for approaching you so directly. I should’ve known better than that.”

The smile grew stronger. “So, we’re good?” she outstretched a hand.

Auron smirked. “We’re good.” He shook the hand firmly.

The door slid shut behind Rikku. They stared at the door, Auron suspicious, Rikku relaxed. “Is it supposed to do that?” he asked.

“Yeesss. It’s a door, silly, it’s made to be shut,” Rikku joked, going to the panel and tapping the ‘Open’ button. The door stayed closed. Narrowing a brow, she pushed the button again. And again. And again. They were locked in.

Scratch that, Rikku thought nervously. I’m locked in with a man who wields a very big, big sword and an even bigger temper. Tysh.

“Rikku,” Auron’s voice was deceptively soft, “are we locked in?”

“Um...yeah.”

Auron contemplated that. “Damn. I should’ve eaten that sandwich.”

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
“I spy...with my little eye...something—”

“My cloak.”

“How’d you—”

“You were staring at it for the last seven minutes.”

“You were—”

“I’ve nothing better to do than to time how long it takes for you to find an object.”

“Stop answering my—”

“Then stop being predictable.”

“Gaaaaah!” Rikku yanked at her hair, getting up and stomping around the room. “Stop it stop it stop it!”

Auron wisely said nothing. He had been yelled at once by Rikku; he preferred to keep it at one.

Rikku smashed the PA panel again and screamed, “Brother, if you’re on the other line listening and snickering, I’m going to take my Godhand and ram it up your—”

Listening as she began spouting off how she would dismantle Brother’s masculine genitalia, Auron wondered if he should move further along the bed or sit very, very still.

His judgment betrayed him that day: he scooted, catching Rikku’s eye.

“And what the hell are you doing, huh? I’m in no mood for you and your stupid lectures! So just leave me the hell alone, or by whatever god does exist in Spira I’ll—” and there Auron lost track of the conversation as she screamed in Al Bhed, flailing her arms and kicking the walls. He caught the occasional word like ‘coffin’ and ‘dog’ and what sounded an awful lot like castration, but the verbs flew over his head. He was grateful; he really didn’t want to know what dogs, coffins, and castration had in common.
So much for not getting yelled at a second time.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Several conspirators kneeled outside the doorway, listening as Rikku shouted.

“Whew,” one whistled. “That guy sure is in for it now. I haven’t heard her use so many swears in a row.”

“I feel sorry for Sir Auron,” another whispered. “He honestly didn’t do anything to deserve this. Maybe we should let them out—”

“No, we can’t do that!” a different conspirator waved their arms. “We’re so close.”

“Besides, Rikku’s gotta cool down first,” one looked near to tears. “Didn’t you hear what she said she was gonna do?”

“That’s only if you were on the other end of the line,” a cool voice told him.

“She ain’t gonna remember it that way. I say, start running, ya.”

The teary one whimpered. He hoped this worked and she was in a better mood, or he would wish he was rotting in the Bikanel sun.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Since spurring Rikku into her rant, Auron had sat perfectly still on the bed, watching her carefully. Thanks to Braska’s stays in temples praying to the fayths, Auron had gotten used to sitting for long, long periods of time.

Rikku did not have that talent. She would sit for a minute before rising and stalking the room before sitting and repeating the cycle. Sometimes she would toy with things and mutter to herself in Al Bhed, but mostly she paced and sat.

Auron wondered for the briefest of moments whether all women acted like this during their periods. He didn’t remember Lord Braska’s wife being irritable and snappish, but then he had had little to do with the kind woman. The only other woman, aside from Lulu (he hesitated to call Yuna and Rikku women—they were still young girls in his eyes), that he had spent longer than two weeks with was Tidus’s mother, and that had been for a month before she passed away in grief.

Movement caught his eye. Rikku had abandoned the pretense of sitting and now sifted through his cloak’s pockets.

He frowned. Temper or no, no one went through his personal items.

Rikku was enjoying herself thoroughly, her long fingers digging through Sir Auron’s mysterious cloak for anything of interest. She never knew there were so many pockets! She was unaware of his proximity until the treasure was snatched away. “Hey!” she glared.

Auron glared right back. “I respect your need for personal space. Respect mine, and stay out of my cloak.”

“What’s the big deal?” Rikku folded her arms, huffing. “It’s not like you have some sort of naughty magazine in there.” At his upraised brow, she widened her eyes. “Do you?”

“Of course not,” Auron rolled his eye. “Perversion was Jecht’s department, not mine.”

“Then lemme take a look, please?” she folded her hands in front of her, eyes begging.

“No.”

The barest flicker of a frown flitted across her face. Alright, time to pull out the big guns. She leapt onto the bed, bounced, and rested her chin on his shoulder. “Pretty, pretty please?” she asked again, pulling out the puppy dog look that made the hard-headed Cid crumble.

To her credit, Auron paused a whole five seconds before denying her the cloak. Rikku silently fumed, then did something she hadn’t done since her mother died, giving him a butterfly kiss on the cheek. “Please?”

He stiffened. His hands stilled, though they gripped the cloak tightly. He turned his one eye to her, the chestnut orb digging deeply into her emerald swirls. Rikku waited innocently, all the while thinking, You just invaded his physical bubble, you just invaded his physical bubble, you’re going to be a very very very dead Rikku by the end of the day....

She waited for his growl, his temper, his stiff air-slicing and glaring. To her complete shock and pleasure, he conceded the cloak.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Auron berated himself for his lack of discipline, for not discouraging her against any physical contact, but to be honest the puppy dog look had beaten him. He had simply needed time to gracefully give up the cloak when she had given him that kiss. While it was a nice kiss, it was unfamiliar and unexpected.

He had thought once he gave in to her request Rikku would leave him be. She had other things in mind, plainly, as she squealed and placed herself squarely in his lap, rifling through his cloak like the little thief she was. Auron stilled, wondering, When did I sign up for Saint Nikolai duty? And what child would believe me a Saint Nikolai?

Rikku’s movements stalled, and she furrowed her brows. Auron took inventory of his pockets. Potions, phoenix downs, a few distillers, maybe one or two elemental Gems, and...

Oh shit.

“Sir Auron, what is a bra doing in your pocket?” Rikku pulled out the garment, wrinkling her nose at the vibrant pink shade. She noted with some envy that the cup size was larger than her own.

Auron considered hemming and giving a lawyer’s reply. But then Rikku’s curiosity would only stew, and then Tidus would eventually become involved, and involving that boy meant involving the entire group, and he most certainly did not want a particular person to know about the garment’s history.

“It’s...it was about three months before Lord Braska’s pilgrimage,” Auron began, wishing fervently he could shrink behind the collar of his cloak. “Lord Braska was going on a walk into Macalania Woods with his wife. I went to the temple to pray.” If Rikku thought he was stalling, she let him. “I— I had loaned Lord Braska my cloak; he had asked. Since it was winter and particularly cold, I thought he’d use it to cover his wife since he really had no need for it himself. And. . . well, I’m sure it did, at some point.”

Rikku’s eyes widened. She stared at the cloak, the bra, and him several times. “You mean— Your cloak— This bra—” She then flung it away, and pushed the cloak to him. “Eww! Why didn’t you say anything?”

Gratefully, Auron put the cloak back on, making sure the collar covered more of his face than usual. “My skills at repression are astounding.”

Still glowering, Rikku said, “You still haven’t explained why you have the bra in your cloak, after all these years.”

The humility in Auron’s face dimmed a bit, and Rikku recognized it as his brooding face. “Lord Braska asked me to...hold onto it, for his sake. I never knew why; it probably had something to do with marriage and the insanity it incurs. After his death I...it was another promise I could keep for him.”

“Oh,” Rikku twiddled her fingers, then said, “Sorry for poking around. If I’d known—”

“But you didn’t. That’s what matters. And not a word of this to Yuna,” Auron’s eye twitched. “If she knew...I would just rather she didn’t. It makes it much simpler.”

“Yeah,” Rikku said simply, understanding very well what he meant.

He peered at her over his collar and his lenses. “Now, for a question of mine.”

Rikku listened attentively. It wasn’t often Sir Legendary-Guardian had questions.

“Why are you sitting on my lap?”

He watched in amusement as her eyes widened and she stammered, unprepared for the query. She made several lame starts, then she brightened. “Because I wanted to do...this!”

For a moment Auron thought she might kiss him again. That thought provoked both bad and good thoughts, most of which were what he supposed people would call ‘dirty’ and ‘perverted,’ though none of those thoughts concerned Rikku...well, most of them, anyway. Then he barked, “Hey!”

She had stolen his lenses. First my cloak, now my lenses. Next she’ll be hauling my Masamune out the door.

She hopped away and grinned, placing the dark lenses on her face. “Ha! I’ve successfully stolen Sir Auron’s famous lenses! Bidding starts at ten gil!”

Pausing in his rise, Auron frowned. “My lenses are worth more than a measly ten gil.”

Sticking out her tongue, Rikku amended, “A hundred gil!”

“Thank you.” Then he darted forward, slung an arm around her waist and plucked his prized possession by the frames.

“Hey! No fair!” Rikku squirmed. “Put me down, you big cheat!”

“Promise to behave?” Auron inquired, sliding his shades back in their proper location.

She smiled up at him deviously. “Behave? I don’t know the meaning of the word.” Her hand streaked to his face, but his own grabbed her wrist before she could topple his lenses.

“Obviously,” Auron sighed internally. Had she been younger, say, seven years old, he would have taken her over his lap and spanked her like he had Tidus when he ate more cookies than vegetables. Now, at the age of sixteen, it would be seen as indecent.

In his momentary lapse of thinking, Rikku had loosened his hold. She stole his lenses again and skittered to the bed, grinning mischievously. “Ha! Too fast for you, old man!”

Auron sighed again, this time aloud. Honestly, he wasn’t that old. Was he? “I’m thirty-five. That’s not old. That’s middle-aged.”

“You’re nineteen years my senior, that makes you eighteen years into the ‘old’ range,” Rikku replied, tilting her head in several directions. “Y’know, these are kinda cool.”

“Glad you approve of my eye-wear. Give them back.”

“No,” Rikku put her hands on her hips. “I like ‘em. I’m keeping ‘em.”

“They sell them at Djose for seventy gil,” Auron told her, exasperated. “Give me mine and get your own.”

“You go buy yourself a new pair,” Rikku flopped onto the bed, wincing as her cramps renewed. “You’ve probably got more money than I do.”

Auron glared. Then rolled his eye. “Don’t get comfortable. I’ll find a way to take them back, I promise.”

Rikku gulped. Auron was infamous for his promises. He never broke them.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
“I’m so hungry,” Rikku moaned.

“I should’ve eaten that sandwich,” Auron grumbled from the bed. She was surprised at his lack of dignity; he was sprawled on his back with his knees bent, feet on the bed, and his head dangling off the edge. She suspected he could care less about his appearance at the moment, if his loudly growling belly was any indicator. As for herself, she was sitting across from his position on the bed, against a wall near the oak desk. The door stood between them to their right remaining obstinately locked.

“I’m so hungry I could eat a snow wolf,” Rikku declared.

“You don’t want to eat those. Their meat is tougher than steel.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine. Then I’d eat snow flans.”

“Ah uh. Tastes like wool, and has the same consistency.”

Frowning, she peered at him. “Is there anything you haven’t eaten?”

“A Rikku sandwich,” he dead-panned.

“Very funny.”

“I try.”

Rikku thought. “Have you eaten sand wolves?”

“Tastes very much like sand.”

“Remoras?”

“Oily. Very, very oily.”

Pausing, she asked with a frown, “An ogre?”

Auron shook his head sagely. “Never let them tell you it’s like eating beef. It isn’t.”

“Adamantoise?”

“Makes a very good stew, actually.”

“Really?”

“If you drink plenty enough sake.”

“Oh.”

The lull was comfortable. Rikku asked, “How long do you think we’ve been stuck here?”

“Four hours, seventeen minutes, nineteen seconds.”

Rikku lowered her head to look over the lenses’ rims, letting the shades slide down the bridge of her nose. “How do you keep track of that?”

His thumb tapped against a knee. “Obsessive compulsive thing. Braska claimed it was a mental defense against Jecht. Jecht claimed it was a ‘mental whatsits for Sin’s hee-noss stratatagom against the great and mighty blitzball’. I still think Braska was right.”

“‘Hee-noss stratatagom’?”

“Jecht’s drunk attempt at sounding clever.”

“Oh.” Another lull. “So, how long have we been stuck in here?”

“Four hours, eighteen minutes, forty seconds,” was the prompt reply.

“Tysh.”

The thumb continued to tap against the knee.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Nine hours, forty-six minutes, and fifty seconds they were trapped in the room.

Nine hours, forty-six minutes, and fifty-three seconds he was trapped with no food.

Nine hours, forty-six minutes, and fifty-six seconds he was trapped alone with Rikku.

Nine hours, forty-six minutes, and fifty-nine seconds he was trapped with absolutely nothing to do.

Nine damn hours, forty-seven damn minutes, and four damn seconds he was trapped.

Auron did not take to being stuck in a room very kindly. Meditating at a temple was one thing. One could get up and leave whenever they damn-well wanted to. And even the most stoic warrior monks never meditated for a solid nine hours at a time. Stomachs demanding food usually goaded them into feeding themselves.

Auron wanted out. Auron wanted freedom. Auron wanted damn food goddamned now!

“Auron?”

“What?” the rebuttal was gruffer than he typically addressed his comrades. He blamed it on the hunger.

“Are you upset?”

“Why would you think that?”

Rikku bit her lip. Auron had used that voice. That voice, which meant he was not in the happiest mood. “Your thumb’s kinda...I dunno, twitching out of control.”

Auron expanded his awareness. Yes, his thumb was ‘twitching out of control.’ Were he in a better mood, he might have cared. He let it tap and said nothing to relieve the girl.

He had never considered himself claustrophobic. He had been in tighter spaces, with more people, than this. Of course, fiends tended to draw his attention away from the narrow space and he never stayed in one location for very long. But this room had turned into his nightmare, his prison, an ever-shrinking cage that refused to let him out.

Auron decided that he would go someplace for a change of scenery. Lots of changes of scenery. And food. Lots and lots of food. So much food, he would grow fat like Yojimbo’s dog.

Well, that settled it. Apparently he was claustrophobic. Even Tidus hadn’t made him this crazy, and the kid was responsible for quite a few of the gray strands in his hair.

He needed something to do. Something to pass the time. Time. Nine hours, fifty-three minutes, thirty-one seconds. Dammit.

Auron opened his eye and searched the room. So far, nothing. His eye landed on the bathroom. He had wanted a shower before all the madness, but the desire had flung out of his mind. Now he considered the luxury.

Rikku snapped her head up as the bed groaned and Auron rolled off gracefully. Her hands immediately clutched the lenses to her face, eyeing him warily.

He turned his eye to her. “I’m taking a shower. Considering our...current problem,” he shot a dark glare at the innocuous portal, “I’m leaving the door open. You peep, and that Masamune is entering your body seven different ways before you can say ‘cunno.’”

“Gotcha,” Rikku nodded, and with no further ado he entered the bathroom, stepping out of her line of sight. The mirror above the sink offered her a view of his face as he disrobed, but that was as far as she looked. She was sure that his scarred eye offered him a 360 degree view around him; that was the only way he could possibly know the things he did. Even Lulu agreed to the theory, though with some hesitation, and the black mage rarely gave into rumors.

The water ran, signaling Rikku to do some exploring. She crawled across the floor and began a more thorough search of his room, specifically in the gear he left behind. Nothing sparked her interest, though she did swipe his Stamina Tablet and the very shiny Dark Matter he kept in the supposedly ‘hidden’ pocket.

She resumed her place on the floor when the water stopped. She juggled the few Al Bhed potions she had with her, to give an air of complete boredom. He came back into the room with a towel wrapped around his waist and his clothes slung over an arm.

“Take your turn,” he told her, dropping his load onto the bed.

She blinked. How had he known she had wanted a shower? “How—”

He turned and gave her a tired look. It read, “Don’t ask, just do as I say.”

“Thank you,” she got up and bolted for the bathroom. As she entered she heard him call:

“While you’re in, know that I’m finding my Dark Matter and Stamina Tablet.”

Damn that eye! It sees through walls, too!

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Rikku glared at the legendary guardian, ruffling her wet hair with a towel. She had been miffed that he knew of her thievery, but finding the bathroom neat and tidy and ready for the next person’s usage had left her feeling guilty. That in turn made her angrier.

It didn’t help that he wasn’t confessing his secret.

“How’d you know?” she demanded once again.

Again, he gave her no answer. He lay on the bed in the same position, though his thumb was much calmer than before.

Tidus had warned her (and in effect the rest of the party as they had been in the same room) about him and his ‘all-knowing ways.’

“He always knows,” he had told them seriously, head nodding in that funny way of his. “It doesn’t matter how hard you try and conceal it, he finds out. And when you ask him how, he’ll never say a word. It’s like...I dunno, he’s got some invisible dog tailing you and it tells him everything when you do something.”

At the time, Rikku had scoffed at the thought of an invisible mutt chasing after people and talking to, of all people, Auron. By now, however, she was beginning to wonder if the theory was so far off from the truth.

“Come on, tell me!” she whined.

Auron fluttered his eye open, snorted, then closed it.

Rikku folded her arms. “Old meanie. Very old meanie.”

“The insult is old and rotting. Pun intended. Tidus overused it by the age of eight.”

She harrumphed. “Why won’t you tell me?”

Again, silence.

She fumed, wondering how to break his shell.

An idea struck her.

Slowly, quietly, she crawled over, until she was next to him. She kissed his cheek.

And cried out as he slid off the bed and landed on his head, legs falling into her lap.

Auron wondered why the day was out to get him. First he got stuck in a room with Rikku and no food, got kissed by aforementioned Rikku, been embarrassed straight to hell with the discovery of the bra, showered with water that refused to be cold, and now lay on the ground, head aching, because the girl had kissed him again.

He was a good man. Auron knew that. He kept his promises, ate his vegetables, and treated women with kindness and respect. Oh, and he helped save the world from overwhelming evil once or twice. So why was the world against him?

Jecht. It had to be Jecht. It was Jecht’s old ghost, come back to haunt him, and was laughing hysterically at his expense.

When he got to the Farplane, he was going to have a few choice words with the man, and not a single one of them were going to be, “Hello, dearest friend.”

Meanwhile, he had to deal with Rikku, the stubborn door, and his head. It ached like hell.

“Can you get a potion out of my cloak, Rikku?” he asked her with a wince.

She folded her arms. “And why should I do that? You won’t tell me how you knew. And you’re crushing my legs.”

With a sigh he slid his legs off hers and fumbled for a potion. “Why do you want to know so much?” he asked, the side of his mouth quirking upwards when he found his potion.

“Hello? Thief extraordinaire! How can I thieve and pillage and skulk around when you have a secret way of knowing? It’s the number one rule in Survival of the Thief: know how your victims can detect you.”

“How tempting. Inform an ally of mine how to avoid being caught while robbing me blind. I’ll pass, thank you.”

Storing in the back of her mind the fact that Auron had actually called her an ally of his, Rikku wriggled in annoyance. “That’s not fair! Come on, tell!”

Auron frowned. “One: we’re stuck in a room at your Home. Two: you tried to steal my Dark Matter and Stamina Tablet. Three: You stole my shades, which I am getting back soon. And four: you made me hit my head. Four very good reasons why fairness is not a factor here.”

Rikku frowned right back at him. “Well, in rebuttal to your number one: Brother is to blame for technical failures, not me; that is the Golden Rule at Home. For two: your Dark Matter and Stamina Tablet are the reasons why we’re having this conversation, so they should not be included; it makes your judgment biased. For three: my shades have nothing to do with your secret ability to sniff out trouble. And as for number four: you’re the idiot who fell off the bed, and I didn’t do anything except this!” With that she leaned in and pecked the same cheek, sitting back and watching as color tinted his skin.

“You really need to stop doing that.”

“You really need to stop dodging the question.”

Auron fought an internal battle. He tried to stay aloof. He tried to glare disapprovingly at the girl. He tried not to look as she brought out her puppy dog look, letting her emerald eyes grow bigger and the swirls became more prominent.....

Dammit. I am getting old. I’m letting a child not even half my age goad me into things. “You do the same thing Tidus did,” he admitted with a tired eye roll.

Rikku blinked. “Huh?”

“You talk to yourself while you commit your crimes. Loudly. I heard you in the bathroom. Tidus did the same thing when he tried to act conniving.”

Rikku blinked again. “‘Conniving’? Tidus?”

“Not big things, he was only eight or nine before I scared the inclinations out of him. Usually he tried flushing his vegetables down the toilet, or trying to hide the dead goldfish in the cookie jar.” Which reminds me, I still need to pay him back for that one.

“Again with the huh? Why would he hide goldfish in the cookie jar?”

“He was a sensitive brat. Thought I’d smack him if I found the goldfish dead. And I did smack him, for vastly different reasons than he came up with.”

“You hit a little kid?” Rikku let her jaw drop, aghast.

“On the head, with a pillow. Better than he deserved, after what happened.”

Curiosity made Rikku ask, “What happened? The goldfish come back alive and take vengeance for improper burial rites or something?”

Auron snorted. “Might as well have, considering I ate it.”

“Ewwww. So maybe the kid did deserve a few smacks.”

“Yes.” Auron looked around the room and sighed. “If you’re done interrogating me?”

“One more question. How long have we been stuck in here?”

“Ten hours, fifty-seven minutes, twelve seconds.”

Rikku sighed. “Brother, you are so dead when I get out of here.”

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
The room was quiet. Auron reveled in the quietude, eye shut against the surroundings. Rikku’s soft breathing filled his ears, as well as his own, and that was the only thing that kept him from sleep.

Finally, peace. I never thought I’d get it. Auron gave way to the slumber that awaited.

Five minutes later, he awoke from a click. And a whirring noise. His eye snapped open, and he sat upright. To his right he saw Rikku jerking awake, eyes blearily looking for the source of the noise. Her tired eyes widened.

The door was open. They were free.

Auron bolted to the door, but the smaller girl was faster. She skidded through the portal, exclaiming, “We’re free! We’re free we’re free we’re—what the ramm is that?”

Pausing in the doorway, Auron followed Rikku’s gaze upward. Attached to the door’s frame was an out-of-place mistletoe, dangling innocently.

He blinked. “I believe it’s a mistletoe.”

“And you know the custom!”

The two turned sharply at the voice, finding Yuna, Tidus, Lulu, Wakka, Brother and his girlfriend, and Kimahri standing down the hallway. They were watching the two carefully, wide smiles on their faces.

Rikku stared, jaw dropping slightly. “You guys—you’re the ones that locked the door?”

“They made me do it!” Brother informed her, vigorously pointing at the party. “It wasn’t me, it was all their fault!”

Auron, meanwhile, stared at the mistletoe. He wondered if throwing it at Tidus’s head would be painful. Doubtful. Maybe ingestion would be better.....

A thought occurred to him. “It took you over thirteen hours to hang up a single mistletoe?” he growled, eye glinting.

Everyone shifted and blushed, embarrassed. “We had a few...difficulties,” Yuna explained slowly.

“What kind of difficulties?” Rikku demanded.

Yuna glared pointedly at Wakka. “He lost the first mistletoe.”

“Hey!” the blitzer cried, “I ain’t the only one at fault! Lulu’s the one that flamed the second one, ya!”

“Tidus crushed the third one,” the black mage defended herself.

“Kimahri ate the next one!” Tidus pointed at the Ronso.

“Kimahri no feel good after,” the Ronso shook his head somberly.

Auron and Rikku traded glances. As one they shuffled inside, to the party’s confusion. The confusion was cleared as they exited again, armed with Godhand and Masamune. And Auron juggled a very menacing Dark Matter in his free hand.

“Run!” Brother’s girlfriend shrieked, and in a stampede everyone vanished.

“Should we chase them?” Rikku asked the elder.

“Later,” Auron grunted, pocketing the Dark Matter. “After we eat. I’m starved.”

“Me too,” Rikku agreed, walking off in the direction of the kitchen. A hand grabbed her arm and twirled her around, pulling her flush into Auron. She looked up with a gulp.

“I believe,” he murmured, bending his head, “the custom is an exchange of a kiss.”

“That’s what I heard,” Rikku agreed, heart beating rapidly. Was Auron going to kiss her?

The anticipation evaporated as he lifted the dark lenses off her nose and replaced them onto his, centimeters before their lips could meet.

“I always keep my promises,” he told her, walking away to eat his long-awaited sandwich. He lifted an arm to accommodate her form as she hurried to match his gait.

Oui runnepma zang—you horrible jerk
Tysh—damn
Ramm--hell

First Steps, Chapter 4

Fri, 05 Oct 2007 02:55:34 GMT

Another chapter to First Steps.

Title: First Steps
Author: me (ffjunkie42 or, on ff.net, sagdragon3002)
Genre: MK, general.
Rating: PG (K+ if you go by ff.net's thing)

Chapter 4: Curiosity Never Killed Wolves: Nightwolf
Disclaimer: Mortal Kombat doesn’t belong to me. I’m sure all MK fans out there are supremely relieved by that.

LiuSubzeroSonyaJaxNightwolfStrykerKitana

Moving eastward was a relief for Raiden, though he was heading into territory that was less kind toward Chinese deities. One for the reason that most were monotheists and believed in “God” and for another that, if they didn’t believe in God, they might not believe in him.

The Pacific Northwest was beautiful, Raiden knew from previous visits. The one downside was the monotonous, continuous, drenching rain that presided over the lands a great majority of the time.

With a sigh Raiden forwent his typical robes for waterproof gear, particularly his coolie hat that kept the rain from dripping into his face. Carefully making his way through eastern Washington, Raiden homed in on the aura of the Chosen One.

He came upon a small tepee placed under the protection of tree branches, where the ground was dry and firm. Cinders burned, waiting until the creator fed the fire with more tinder and wood. From inside the tepee sounds of yips intermixed with laughter.

Maybe this will turn out easier than last time, Raiden thought hopefully, calling out softly, “Hello!”

The flap entrance flew open, emitting a mid-sized bundle of muscles, fur, and snapping jaws. Following the wolf was the tip of an arrow, nocked in the bow by a Native American boy.

Or maybe this will turn out about the same as all the other times.

In spite of their belligerent welcome, the wolf came no nearer to him and the boy didn’t lease the arrow. Raiden tried alleviating the tension with a smile and some humor. “Does your tribe always condone hostility against old men looking for shelter from the rain?”

“Only to protect my companion and myself,” the boy answered evenly, though he relaxed the bowstring. “Who are you?”

“As I said,” Raiden replied, settling himself on the far side of the fire, making certain that the rain wouldn’t drip onto the back of his neck, “I’m an old man looking for shelter. I heard you and your companion, and hoped you would allow me to share your fire.”

He held his fingers out to the wolf in order to appease the guard. Warily the wolf sniffed Raiden’s fingers, sneezing and retreating behind the boy with whimpers.

The boy glared at Raiden. “Kiva says you smell wrong. Not human. What are you?”

Raiden blinked. “Impressive. You can communicate with...Kiva, was it?”

“Best in my tribe at it,” the boy pulled the bow taut again. “What are you?”

“I’m not your enemy,” Raiden answered. “In fact, I hope to bring you a future full of honor and adventure.”

The boy tilted his head. “Cryptic.”

“It’s my specialty.”

“You’re a god.”

Trying not to flinch, Raiden asked, “How do you figure?”

“It’s the only answer Kiva can come up with.”

Cursing himself for forgetting the companion, Raiden sighed. “Alright, I’m a god. Can your companion identify anything else about me? Just so that I don’t insult you or embarrass myself with knowledge you already have.”

The boy eyed him, lowering his bow reluctantly. “No, nothing else. He says you smell of ozone, though.”

Well, there are some small graces left in the world. “Tell me boy, what’s your name?”

The boy cocked his head. “Aren’t gods supposed to be omniscient? That’s what all the elders say.”

“Humor me.”

Obviously disappointed, the boy slipped out of the tepee and sat before the fire, across from Raiden. “Nightwolf. This is Kiva,” he added uselessly as the wolf butted the boy before clambering into his lap. “You’re getting too big to do that. I want to be the shaman of my tribe when I grow up, is my ‘future full of honor and adventure’ related to that at all?”

Curious little impudent child. “Becoming shaman is immaterial to the future I have in mind for you. Perhaps helpful, but I have nothing to confide in you about that.”

Nightwolf sighed sadly. “Oh well. I tried. Can you at least tell me if I have happiness in my future?”

Raiden glowered at him. “I may be a god, but seeing into the future is not my faculty.”

“Then what is?”

Little rat. “If you keep pressing me, you’ll find out.”

“So then you’re a war-based god? Or elemental? Father said there were many of you among the pantheon, but you don’t look like any of the gods we have on our—”

Patience slowly lost as Nightwolf narrowed down his identity, Raiden moved imperceptibly behind him and ran a jolt through the boy, the wolf sitting in his lap falling to the same fate. Nightwolf collapsed against his torso.

Damn inquisitive little child. I can already tell I’ll have plenty of headaches when this one grows up and knows even more. Nonetheless, as Raiden marked the boy as he had with the previous two, the god smiled. It’ll make for an interesting Kombat, that’s for certain.

When the boy woke up the next morning to bright sunshine, the god had disappeared. Kiva whined at his side, licking his face when he sat up. Spotting something new among his belongings, Nightwolf took the object and examined it.

The bow was made not from typical bone or wood, but of a hollow, flexible material. When he concentrated, he could fuse his chi into the material and an arrow would materialize from the green glow. Pulling back the string and aiming, Nightwolf fired the chi-arrow fifty yards, a personal best he could never have accomplished with his other bow.

Eyeing the bow respectfully, Nightwolf cut off the flow of chi and slung his new bow over his shoulder. He paid his respects to the skies, the only place he could think of that the deity would return to. Collapsing his tepee and stamping out the cinders, he whistled to Kiva and started off for the tribe.

Next time I see him, I’ll ask him how he made the bow. I’m sure he’ll love explaining that to me.

You get ideas from daydreaming. You get ideas from being bored. You get ideas all the time. The only difference between writers and other people is we notice when we're doing it. --Neil Gaiman

First Steps, Chapter 3

Sat, 29 Sep 2007 23:09:23 GMT

I wish GJ hadn't brought down their icons to a mere 100; it was their key selling feature. I'm not an RPG-er, and I know I don't use my icons every single day, but... It was kind of like my "collection." Some people collect stamps, others comic books, etc. etc. Some people bought artwork because they loved the artwork. I collected icons, because they appealed to me artistically. I just hope they bring the icons back.

Anyway....To the fanfiction!

Title: First Steps
Author: me (ffjunkie42 or, on ff.net, sagdragon3002)
Genre: MK, general.
Rating: PG (K+ if you go by ff.net's thing)

Chapter 3: Innocence Before Darkness: Sub-Zero
Disclaimer: Mortal Kombat doesn’t belong to me. I’m sure all MK fans out there are supremely relieved by that.
Notes: Vague mentioning from MK: Deception. If you haven’t played or followed that game, then you might not know who Raiden is referring to, nor do you really need to know.

LiuSubzeroSonyaJaxNightwolfStrykerKitana

Of all the things Raiden hated most about China, it was the winter. Winters in mountainous China were harsh, cold, and oppressing. If Raiden had had his druthers, he would’ve picked staying in the Heavens drinking some warm tea.

However, Raiden didn’t have his choice of activities. He had to find the Chosen Ones that would compete in the Kombat. So he trudged in the snow, searching for the elusive aura of a nearby Chosen One.

This child held much promise if he managed to elude him so far. But Raiden was catching up to the rascal.

Pausing mid-step, Raiden tilted an ear upwards. The wind whistled through the trees and past very fine fabric.

The god hopped to the side as a shuriken landed in his stead, and with a forceful push Raiden leapt into the trees. Spotting the well-concealed mortal, Raiden struck the person lightly across the shoulders, felling the victim.

Raiden followed the Chosen One down, landing lightly and watching with approval as the mortal landed on his feet. Black eyes glared up at him past a blue mask, breath coming out in wisps. Dressed in an all-black body-suit, it was obvious what the boy was doing out in the woods.

He was a Lin Kuei ninja in training.

This generation just loves to be as difficult as possible, it seems. I couldn’t have kind, generous tree-huggers that don’t mind fighting for their lives and their Realm. No, I have smartalecky little boys and ninjas from a slowly-corrupting clan. Next thing I know, I’ll have fat drunken masters who use their own flatulence to defeat their opponents.

The ninja rushed him, pulling out kunais and shuriken. To Raiden’s amusement the boy let out a yell. As he dodged the weaponry, Raiden thought, Well, they haven’t completely brainwashed him. Maybe I’ll be able to wedge a seed of doubt in the bo—Elders’ name!

Raiden refocused on the battle when the ninja pulled away and shot a stream of blue chi at him. Raiden lifted an arm to brush away the chi, letting out a strangled yelp as the chi froze on his limb. Ice slowly crept upward, toward his torso, before Raiden shattered the ice.

Arm stinging and bleeding from small cuts, Raiden narrowed his eyes at the child. The ninja stood several feet away from him, holding a defensive position and attempting to hide his deep breaths.

The boy’s from the Sub-Zero line. While I’d love to have one with such power on my side, I don’t know if I can trust such a dangerous element.

“Leave the woods immediately!” the boy shouted at him, “or die a painful death! You’re on Lin Kuei lands now!”

Raiden shook his head slightly. He had forgotten the ninja was only a child; the voice that was not-quite mature reminded him of his innocence. “I’m not your enemy, child. Rather, someone who would like to be your friend.”

The boy continued to glare suspiciously. “I’m ninja! I don’t need friends!”

“Sure you do.” Raiden chose a log that didn’t place him closer to the boy and sat down. “You have quite a future set ahead for you, you realize.”

Squaring his shoulders, the boy answered, “I’ll be the next Sub-Zero of my clan, the greatest of them all. I will bring honor to my family and my clan.”

Such idealism. Yes, most definitely a child. It’s almost cute to see such naivete and innocence. “Ah, of course you will. But, may I ask, how will you do so?”

The boy faltered at that, then charged on, “By being the bravest and the best. I’ll go on missions and succeed where everyone else would have failed.”

“Pardon my saying so, but that sounds very vague. In fact, what happens if your clan chooses to make you sacrifice more than you are willing to give? Your honor, your name, your identity? All for the betterment of the clan, which is spiraling into destruction?”

“The Lin Kuei will never fall!” the boy snapped, though there was uncertainty in his voice.

“Perhaps it won’t, perhaps it will. But, my dear boy, I’m certain you will not.” Raiden approached him now, cautiously in case he retaliated. The ninja stared at him, no longer sure what this man’s intentions were.

“Who are you?” the ninja asked.

“Someone on a quest of discovery.” Raiden settled a hand, gently, on the boy’s shoulders. “I hope someday my hard work will come to fruition.”

Quickly Raiden thrust his power into the boy and marked him as a Chosen. Sensing the chi, the ninja cried and used a kunai to swipe at the man. But as his arm swept in an arc, the man was gone and the tingle in his body had faded to nothingness.

Eyes scanning the woods diligently, the boy scowled. He had disappeared. When he told the Grandmaster about this, he would be punished for sure.

A flash caught his attention. Carefully, keeping an eye out for any attacks, the boy crept to the object. Picking it up, he examined it.

A short-bladed sword had been left in the snow, the blade entirely blue and the handle a replica of ice. The pommel was the head of a Chinese dragon, the eyes glowing with single-karat rubies. Along the length of the blade, on one side, was written, “Think honorably. Live honorably. Die honorably,” in thin, delicate characters.

Contemplating the weapon, the boy searched the forest for the man who had undoubtedly dropped the weapon while engaging in battle. When he decided the man wouldn’t return for the sword, he slipped the blade into his belt and made his way back to the Lin Kuei headquarters. The Grandmaster might punish him for losing the trespasser, but the boy soon to bear the name Sub-Zero decided he would live to see what the future had in store for him.

Sirius Black:

Escaped Azkaban...
Evaded Dementors....
Outwitted Ministry.....

Killed by drapery. --taken from an icon I found in one of my fanfic Facebook groups.

First Steps, Chapter 2

Sat, 29 Sep 2007 02:07:45 GMT

Next Chapter in my First Steps series. First week of classes went...well, I can't say splendidly, but I do believe I can survive (and with good grades!) this quarter. That's always of the good.

So, to celebrate.....Fanfiction!

Title: First Steps
Author: me (ffjunkie42 or, on ff.net, sagdragon3002)
Genre: MK, general.
Rating: PG (K+ if you go by ff.net's thing)

Chapter 2: The Best Isn't Always for Last: Liu
Disclaimer: Mortal Kombat doesn’t belong to me. I’m sure all MK fans out there are supremely relieved by that.

LiuSubzeroSonyaJaxNightwolfStrykerKitana

Sitting in a chair, fingers steepled, the Thunder God Raiden wondered at his luck and decided Bishamonten, war god of the Seven Gods of Fortune, liked making his life difficult to get a kick out of his squirming.

With a sigh Raiden exited the private room at the Temple of Light, though not before donning beggar’s robes. While most of the monks recognized him from sight and sound there were still some he could fool into thinking he was nothing more than dirt at their feet.

And he needed that now. Discretion. Anonymity. The Chosen One couldn’t just respect him because he was a god, but respect him as another person.

Raiden let out his breath through his nose in a disgruntled huff. The Elders had tried to intervene and choose his fighters on the premise that, as Earth Realm had lost the last nine Kombats, Raiden was failing. So now Raiden was in a desperate search for Chosen Ones in spite of the fact that the Kombat wasn’t for another twenty-three years. He needed to bring his case to the Elders now. He needed to show that, while the mortals had lost, it was not because they were weak.

Raiden only hoped this generation was not only the best, but good enough to defeat Shang Tsung and, by extension, Shao Kahn.

Children’s laughter brought Raiden up short. Several children ran in wild tangents in a courtyard, chasing one child who held a bright yellow ball in his hands.

Recognizing the bearer as Kung Lao, a direct descendant of the Great Kung Lao, Raiden bit his lip in dismay. While the child’s aura was brilliant, it wasn’t the distinguished aura of a Chosen or, preferably, the Chosen One. The god didn't know how a descendant of such a noble line could be surpassed, but Kung Lao was not the Chosen One of this generation.

“Chan! Mother said to come home now!”

Raiden averted his eyes to the speaker. A nine year old boy stood in the courtyard with an impressive no-nonsense scowl on his face. His black hair was shaggy and black eyes dark with responsibility, dressed in the simple clothes of a boy from a modest family.

While his appearance was poor and bedraggled, the boy’s aura was not. A tornado of power, determination, and humanity roared, diminishing Kung Lao’s own and all the other boys in the courtyard.

One boy stopped his frantic chasing, stomping his feet in frustration. “Liiiuuu, I’m playing!”

“Supper is on the table, Chan. If you want to eat, then come home now.”

The brother did not share the strong spirit Liu did, Raiden was saddened to see. In fact, Chan seemed to have a very short lifespan.

No, if Raiden wanted the best fighters Earth Realm had to offer, Liu was it. Liu was the Chosen One and, if his aura was anything to go by, the best. The best since Kung Lao of five hundred years ago.

Raiden shied away from that memory. The memory of Kung Lao’s body mangled and defiled by that damned Goro still hurt terribly.

He approached Liu, blanking his emotions. Chan and Kung Lao had both converged on the elder boy, but they turned at his arrival. Chan seemed unaware of his godhood, but Kung Lao gazed up sharply at him, respect shining in his far-softer black eyes.

Liu, on the other hand, stared at him with suspicion while surreptitiously shielding his brother. “What do you want?”

Inwardly Raiden sighed despairingly. Why couldn’t his last hope have been humble, respectful, considerate? Instead Liu had the confrontational, cynical attitude of a world-weary man, one who wouldn’t place his trust in a god any more than he would in an emperor of China.

Rather than smiting the child as would befit a deity of his position, Raiden cocked his head. “To meet a responsible young man like yourself.”

Liu’s brows narrowed. Chan, oblivious, pouted in envy unique to younger siblings. “You always get to meet the cool people, Liu.”

Why couldn’t the younger brother be Chosen? I wouldn’t mind. Not in the least.

But Fate and Destiny had chosen the hot-blooded youngster. Raiden wasn’t one to argue with the reigning forces—much. He told Liu, “Do you always look after your younger brother?”

Jutting his chin out, Liu said, “It’s none of your business.”

“Liu,” Kung Lao whispered urgently, apparently regarding Liu’s sole year elder as immaterial, “speak gentler. The monks would be horrified if they heard you speak so, even to the lowest of beggars. Not everyone is as they seem.”

Liu sent the boy a scalding look. “The monks aren’t the boss of me, or anyone. I’m my own man, not someone who has to ask them what is right and wrong. Anyone who needs to be told is someone who has far more pressing moral problems.”

Well. Maybe not a wholly lost cause. I think I’m just reacting negatively because the Elders left a bad taste in my mouth. “Well spoken, Liu,” Raiden smiled sincerely now, resting a hand on his and Kung Lao’s shoulders. With that act he sent a burst of power through, marking the former as the Chosen One and the latter as Chosen. Both boys pulled away, Kung Lao gazing up with wide eyes while Liu glared.

Or maybe I have a right to be concerned that the fate of this world lays in the hands of this child.

“I hope to see you both in the near future,” Raiden said cryptically, turning away. “The world needs people like you.”

The boys watched as he disappeared into the catacombs of the Temple. Liu thought that would be the last he saw of the beggar, but when he returned home a red headband was tied around his bedpost. Written in bold, black Chinese lettering was, “You will overcome Destiny herself to be great.” At the end was a black Chinese dragon entrapped by a black, cracked circle.

Liu stared, uncomprehending. The boy answered his mother’s call obediently, tucking the headband into his pocket.

A/N: I've always had the idea that Liu was a rebellious child, particularly since the first movie depicted Liu as rather cynical toward Raiden at first. Just letting you all know why I made him so skeptical.

Jack Sparrow: No! No! Not good... What're you doing? You've burned all the food, the shade...the rum!
Elizabeth: Yes, the rum is gone!
Jack Sparrow: Why is the rum gone?!
Elizabeth: One, because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels; two, that signal is over a thousand feet high! The entire Royal Navy is out looking for me. Do you really think there is even the slightest chance that they won't see it?
Jack Sparrow: But why is the rum gone?
Elizabeth: Just wait, Captain Sparrow. Give it an hour, maybe two, keep a weather eye open, and there'll be white sails on that horizon!
Jack Sparrow: [Walking to the other end of the island, mocking Elizabeth] "It must have been terrible for you, Jack, must have been terrible-" Well, it bloody is now!! [Seeing Norrington's ship offshore] ...There'll be no living with her after this.

Jack Sparrow: If you were waiting for the opportune moment... that was it. --Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl

First Steps, Chapter 1

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 22:18:19 GMT

My fanfiction is baaaaack! Well, sort of. There's nothing new to this post; just my First Steps MK series. This journal will pretty much go back to being a fanfiction journal; if you want a RL update, go to my livejournal--I'm sure the link to it is somewhere.

Title: First Steps
Author: me (ffjunkie42 or, on ff.net, sagdragon3002)
Genre: MK, general.
Rating: PG (K+ if you go by ff.net's thing)

Chapter 1: The Story Begins: Kitana
Disclaimer: Mortal Kombat doesn't belong to me. I'm sure all MK fans out there are supremely relieved by that.
Notes: A Defenders of the Realm-based fic, while using the movies to formulate a timeline. Contains mentions of MK: Conquest.
Summary: The Defenders of Earth Realm first met Raiden two years ago, when the first official Kombat of their generation began. . . . Or did they? Written in a series of drabbles.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LiuSubzeroSonyaJaxNightwolfStrykerKitana

Taking a moment to relax and put aside the weight of an entire Realm, Raiden peered in on his mortals with a benign smile. They were sharing an easy day, using it to joke and simply bask in each other's company.

The Elders had protested at first when he made his choices for the Chosen Ones, but Raiden had stood firm by his decision. The Thunder God had known, nearly twenty-five years previously, that the six mortals would be the greatest fighters of Earth Realm's history, possibly even greater than Kung Lao, Siro, and Taja. Sure, they had only been children at the time, but they still had strong auras of destiny emanating from them. And he had been proven right, as they staved off invasions from Shao Kahn, Shang Tsung, and Shinnok time and time again.

Kitana had been the one Defender he had not taken into consideration twenty-five years ago, but as she had remained in the Outworld-transformed-Edenia for the past several centuries, Raiden forgave himself that mistake. He had made up for it two years ago on this day (a further exact twenty-three years since the day he first met the other six) with a gift, a pair of steel fans with the Kombat dragon engraved in its iron supports. Raiden was unaware whether or not Kitana knew the source behind the gift, but in the subsequent battles she carried the new fans, storing her old ones in her dresser if an emergency arose.

A burst of laughter made Raiden revert his attention back to the group. Stryker had told some joke about Mexicans, blacks, and whites, one which Raiden wouldn't repeat except in very private company. Soon other jokes were told, slowly degenerating in appropriateness. Raiden wondered briefly where mortals could possibly find the time to create such tasteless humor, then brushed it aside. If this was the way his mortals could best unwind, then only his mother would keep him from protecting them.

Of course, once his mother got involved, everyone else was on their own. Raiden was fairly certain he was still on restriction for burning his mother's rose garden into shrivels. He was staying out of the way as much as possible to avoid further punishment by his formidable mother.

But yes, aside from his mother, Raiden would do everything to keep his mortals safe from others, gods included. They had done so much to protect their Realm, even under the most unsavory conditions. They deserved to have some aid from their Protector of Earth Realm.

Raiden wondered if they remembered him approaching them those years ago, when he first identified them all as his Defenders. If they didn't, would they demand their lives back under the argument that they ought to choose their own paths? Raiden wouldn't deny them their normal lives, though he would despair at their losses. They were more than just his fighters. For the first time in a long while (about 500 years, if Raiden cared to count) his Defenders were his friends . . . his family. He spent more time down here, mingling with them and laughing at their antics than he did in the Heavens dodging the Elders, his peers, and his mother.

But if they did remember . . .

No, Raiden decided. They don't. They would have brought it up already if they did.

Slowly, Raiden entered the kitchen and sat down languorously on a chair. The others made no notice of his entrance except to slide him the bowl of popcorn and repeat some of the other (equally off-color) jokes he had missed. Letting their voices fade into the background, Raiden considered the day, twenty-five years ago precisely, he had met the future Defenders of the Earth Realm for the first time. . . .
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Mexicans, blacks, whites joke Stryker tells does exist, as do several of the ones alluded to but not described. But as they would undoubtedly get me kicked off I won't post them. If you're dying of curiosity (and swear by your honor as a human being that you won't accuse me of being racist and tell to kick me off the site) then message me and I will write you the joke Stryker tells.

Walter: How long've you been married?
Jeff Dunham: Fifteen years.
Walter: You'll see.
Jeff Dunham: See what?
Walter: Remember when you said, "'Til death do us part"?
Jeff Dunham: Yeah.
Walter: Later you'll realize you were actually setting a goal.
-----
Jeff Dunham: Do you have a drinking problem?
Bubba J.: Nah, I have it pretty much figured out.
-----
Jeff Dunham [trying to jog Peanut's memory of which city they're in]: The drive from the valley?
Peanut: Was bad as hell!
Jeff Dunham: Traffic?
Peanut: Sucked like hell!
Jeff Dunham: Drivers?
Peanut: Angry as hell!
Jeff Dunham: And you?
Peanut: Were scared as hell!
Jeff Dunham: Parking?
Peanut: Sucked more like hell!
Jeff Dunham: So?
Peanut: We're in hell! --Jeff Dunham: Arguing with Myself (he's a ventriloquist, each of the others who aren't "Jeff" are his puppets; everyone who needs a good laugh should watch it)

17 More Days to Go.....

Sun, 02 Sep 2007 00:49:45 GMT

[Me logging onto my UW-web account two days-ish ago]: *takes a look at newly-designed front page, flinches at the randomness and the inability for my eyes to focus on any one section*

*takes a look at where it states my tuition bill*

"...........Ack!"

*falls off chair in a not-that-great-fashion*

My sister and I spent the day out today. First we went to IHOP, where their Harvest Grain & Nut pancakes defeated me yet again. At Borders she went for her cross-stitching stuff and I wandered to the DVD section, thinking that I might sell out to the devil and oogle the new-school Doctor Who series if they had it.

They didn't have it.

We went to Suncoast thereafter, in which I greedily snatched up the Serenity Collector's edition (!Jayne! Yay!) and I went ahead and bought the Buffy movie, because I was interested in having it. And I thought I'd go over and see if Suncoast had the Dr. Who DVDs, since, y'know...movie/television DVD store.......

They didn't have it either.

We drove over to the Lacey Walmart, and my sister bought some stuff while I went searching for the Dr. Who DVDs yet again, desperately.

And yet again, they didn't have it. Phooey.

Bought some good Korean food for take-out, went home, ate, had our mother send us out again to her friend's place to pick something up, and on our way back we swung by the Baskin Robbins, where I (re: my sister) got me a quart of some very delicioso Peanut Butter 'n' Chocolate. Yumyumyum. I probably would've gotten an ice cream shake but...I was too full from first the pancakes and then the Korean food barely 3 hours later.

We arrived back home, and I opened my Collector's Edition and ooh-ed and aah-ed over the very pretty box. They had a little flier inside advertising other merchandise like the blueprints and "official papers" to Serenity (the ship, for all you non-watchers out there) and posters of places in the Firefly/Serenity universe and Alliance currency. I'm very very pleased I waited to buy Serenity. I kinda/sorta/not-really wish I had waited on FF:Advent Children for the collector's edition, but....I love the one I have. It has sentimental value. ^.^

My sister's thinking about swinging over to Suncoast again tomorrow because they have a special Anime sale going on. I'll probably join her. Who knows what I'll come out of the store with? They said they'll have anime scrolls(posters) on sale 2 for $25. Eh, it all depends. I kinda like the t-shirt they have in the store which has a picture of Pocky and the word Addict written over it. Hehehehehehe.

I'm starting to think about what I need for University this year. I need a water filter pitcher because drinking the University water straight from the tap 100% ensures you will need a hospital visit within the week, if not the day, thanks to all the chlorine they put in it. And bottled water is not only heavy to carry when it's 35 bottles to a box, but also kinda inconvenient. But I need to know if the water pitcher will fit in the refrigerator I will (hopefully) rent out from the UW. Blaaaagh. I also need to be aware of how much space I'm going to have; I have a prediction in mind, so I'm going to try and keep the stuff I bring to what I believe I can fit in that prediction. Worse comes to worse, I'll give some stuff back to my sister to drive back home.

Galen: I was just thinking on whether or not a comment would be 'most wanted or least needed'.
Gideon: I thought you said you don't hold a grudge?
Galen: I don't. I have no surviving enemies. At all.

[Gideon orders that probes be dropped onto the planet.]
Galen: I want you to know that this thing just made a very large dent in my ship. Did you ever think about looking outside before you start throwing things overboard?
Gideon: Maybe next time you'll let us know when you're coming. --Crusade

Not quite August 1, but oh well

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 02:46:06 GMT

Again, RL update rather than fanfic update....You'll still have to wait until probably September for that....

May as well post today as two days from now. I doubt anything major is going to happen to rattle my world.

And Happy Birthday to Neville Longbottom, and a day early to dearest Harry (yes, I'm pathetic, I'm wishing fictional characters a happy birthday. =P)

WARNING: LENGTHY DESCRIPTION OF HARRY POTTER-MANIA DOWN BELOW. SKIP 2 PARAGRAPHS IF YOU ARE UTTERLY BORED BY IT BY NOW. There's nothing too spoilery, I don't think, except possibly for the final quote which is hidden behind an lj-cut, anyhow.

I picked up my copy of HPDH pretty much around opening time at B&N, and had to wait in an actual line, which kinda bamboozled me for a minute or two. I chatted with a woman in front of me who had swung by the B&N the night before for the midnight party, and saw that a line had wrapped around the abandoned building next door (the facade of which is pretty darned broad) by around 9-ish and chose to wait until the next day to buy it. This made me kinda glad I hadn't gone. Went and bought 2 slices of Godiva chocolate cheesecake (YUM!) and put up with my sister driving to first Borders (which had a whole separate line for Harry Potter, apparently, but at that early in the morning was completely empty [HA! take that, evil Borders which competes with my B&N!]), then to the mall across the way so she could go to Suncoast, and then to Burger King where she actually had breakfast, before we went home. I read the entire way up until a little after we left BK, at which point I started getting carsick and regrettably had to put the book down. I think I was at about chapter 4 or 5-ish. Then, upon arriving home at about 10-ish, I promptly secluded myself in my room and read, being interrupted only for unimportant things like dinner and such. I finished the book in about 7 hours. Heh.

I can't say that I'm totallycompletelyohmygodwowhowutterlythrillingandexciting about the book, but.....I can say that I'm content. Yes, I'm content. Things I felt pretty darned sure about came to be true, and some of my suspicions were verified, and a few other thoughts were debunked. I was horrified by a few of the deaths, and I didn't understand why a few of them died until today, when I read a transcript JKR had, in which she stated why 2 of the characters had died (that their deaths had been an exchange for the reprieve of one character earlier). I would sort of have preferred the 2 characters to live and the other to have died, but...I'm okay with it. I will let it rest. I had wished there would be more conclusions in the final book, but having read 2 transcripts with JKR today, I have a few of my questions answered (one of which no one seemed to have ever asked!) so I am ready now to accept book 7 as it is (and begin writing a HP fanfic or two...)

My family went to Westport yesterday, but Mom didn't get to have fresh crab--they were only selling tuna. Drive was okay, I didn't have to do it so I was fine with it. My sister parked in all sorts of weird places, but whatever. We wandered up and down the boardwalk (or whatever it's called), checked out a few gift shops, lamented not getting fresh crab, and ate at the Half Moon Bay Restaurant (I think? It might just be Half Moon Restaurant or something). It was okay, but I think the next time we go we should eat elsewhere. $30 house specials....sheesh. My sister bought a bit of fudge and chocolates, and my mother a hat so her hair didn't fly all over the place, and I took a few pictures. Nothing too terribly exciting, though Mom has expressed the interest to go on a boat out to sea and watch the fishing.

After we got back from Westport, I decided I wanted ice cream, so I went out to Mega Foods (which, I discovered, is selling HP books. I don't know why this disturbs me more than knowing Fred Meyers does it, but...yeah. It's just weird to think my friendly, neighborhood grocery store sells HP), I bought my mother cantalopes (which she seems to be addicted to) before heading to Baskin Robbins (yay-ness!). Bought my mother 2 quarts of Cookes n' Cream and myself a 1/2 gallon of Nutty Coconut. Yumminess.

My mother watches this Korean variety show where they showcase people doing really, extremely strange/extraordinary things. One of their features was a young woman who very very literally puts superfluous amounts of sugar on everything. She and a friend were at an ice cream shop (a BASKIN ROBBINS ice cream shop, no less, heh), she got a big bowl of some ice cream (couldn't tell the flavor; the ice cream was completely green, though), pulled out a pint-sized container full to the brim with sugar, and began spooning sugar all over her ice cream. When she made one layer of sugar disappear, she spooned even more on her ice cream and ate away. My teeth hurt just watching it. There was also another segment showing a man who (with his wife/girlfriend) went around fields collecting bees/yellow jackets in a little cup with a lid and, using tweezers, stung himself with the bees, all because he liked the pain. *shakes head*

My mother bought the entire series of Dae Jang Geum. All 54 hours' worth. And no, this is not the "approx. 44 minutes" or whatnot kinda hour. This is a solid 1 Volume, 6 discs, 18 episodes, Approx. running time 18 hours with 3 volumes completing the series kinda 54 hours worth.

I'm now seriously considering doing the summer creative writing course in Rome in Summer '08. I would have to take out a(nother) loan to pay for it, but I kinda think if I put aside enough money to pay for the class and put the rest of it in a CD, the money in the CD will accrue some interest so that when I pay the loan back, it might be possible for me to pay that loan back before I'm 30 (which is not the same case as the other student loans I have). If I have enough money, I might even be able to buy Mom a bigger new TV, and the new TV we already have can go to my sister (that is, if she doesn't come up with some inane reason for not having it, like, "It's too big." In which case, I would happily take it off her hands). I don't know. It all depends on how much I take out, if I even decide to go. Life has gotten a bit complicated for me this last month, particularly in the university-arena.

I got some Korean newspapers/advertisements to translate for practice, but...none of my dictionaries are helping. And I can't type in Korean on my PC, so I can't use online dictionaries, and there are no Wireless hubs I trust around my neighborhood for me to use my laptop. *sigh* And on top of that, the Korean class I'm taking has now peaked at an enrollment of 27 students in a class which was only to be about 20 and in a room with a capacity of 25, and I'm still unable to enroll in it. I'm just glad I have an add-code, though now that I have thought about it I'm not entirely certain where that add-code is........Oh shit.......

I now have another thing to panic about. Must go now and calm myself with ice cream and well-written fanfiction.....

Mulan: My ancestors sent a little lizard to help me?
Mushu: Dragon, dragon, I don't do that tongue-thing. [does the tongue-thing] --Mulan

Jack: "You've never swung an axe in your life."
Nathan: "I've swung a lot of things that would surprise you." --EUReKA (all the Nathan/Jack fangirls swoon with the slashy innuendos)

And, so as to avoid censure from those people who have yet to read the final installment, a Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows quote is hidden behind an lj-cut, with a bit of a minor spoiler regarding a character (any more than that, and I may as well just leave it out in the open for all to read)

Snape raised his eyebrows and his tone was sardonic as he asked, "Are you intending to let him kill you?"
[Dumbledore says] "Certainly not. You must kill me."
There was a long silence, broken only by an odd clicking noise. Fawkes the phoenix was gnawing a bit of cuttlebone.
"Would you like me to do it now?" asked Snape, his voice heavy with irony. "Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?" --Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (for some reason, when I read that, it kinda reminded me of the Looney Tunes cartoon when Elmer is hunting Bugs and Daffy, and Bugs asks, "Would you like to shoot me now or wait 'til we get home?")